I start to feel that I have to submit to what you want just to do what I like in the future

I am not feeling the mood to do what you all want, but I have no choice. Since you think what I have done was just mere pretence, I shall pretend all my way through. Till I get what I want, I know I have to endure. God, please help me get through this.

So, mood of the day says, ” pretending to be good.”

Moving Out

Just a clarification for the previous post, the one where I said I “felt like crying”? Does that ring any bell? Anyway, that feeling has not come for quite some time already, I guess about four years already. It was just the same kind of fear that I had about four years ago, because of a common reason: Moving out from HELL.

I shall not elaborate on what actually happened four years ago, maybe I will do so in the next post when I have nothing better to do? I don’t know.

For now, I just feel like running away from all these stupid things. Like really, it is really stupid to move in and out from one place to another. I guess the lives of most foreign students are like that, or to be fair, not just students but all “refugees” residing in a foreign land.

Back in my home country, I only moved once in my life. ONCE. During that one time, I don’t remember needing to care so much about packing, moving and unpacking stuff. Mom did almost everything, from packing, scolding, unpacking and more scolding (roll your small eyes if you wish). Dad would arrange the truck and the movers to ensure that my siblings and me would have no worries. How I wish that they are here for me again, helping me out with the moving ‘rituals’, even scolding does help a little bit. Sigh…

In contrast, I have moved around in Singapore for 7 times. That was not something to be proud of, I have come to a point in my life where I have no choice but to admit that such a ‘chore’ is parts and parcels of life. I have not heard from my friends or acquintances from Singapore who have actually moved as many times as I have done in less than five years. Look! The idea of moving so many times was just atrocious!

So, the reason for moving this time round was because of what happened a few days ago. My sister and I felt strongly that the place is no longer safe. Even though we do not have concrete proofs that it was the “suspect” who did it, but we feel that our judgement and our analysis would substantiate any nonsensical jargons that my landlady utters all the time: the CHAIR argument. I cannot believe how one can be stupefied by the sole presence of a freaking chair outside the window. For all you know, it could be added to perk up the dramatic effect. People just know how to act, or maybe you don’t need to really have Oscar’s acting standard to gain recognition in Singapore? People, just look at the local acting scene and you will eventually get my point.

Furthermore, my sister was intelligent enough to pinpoint that, despite the possiblity of the intruder coming from outside through that ridiculously small window, “What is the dust doing there? Why is the window still so dirty?” This proves to be a very valid area for consideration, even the police overlooks this (I am not very happy with their work though, I shall not say more because I do not want to get into trouble). So, people, if you want to keep your house safe and not wanting to accuse anybody wrongly, DO NOT CLEAN YOUR HOUSE WINDOW AT ALL! You may even save money on the absurdly-priced anti-burglar devices!

The incident took place on Friday morning, I found a room for my sister in the evening of the same night. We went for viewing on Saturday, and was surprised to know that it was the place that a friend used to live. So we decided to take the place. We packed up the whole night and shift most of the stuff there. We managed a calm conversation with the landlady to let us move despite not notifying her a month in advance, although we did find it strange that she let us off so easily, considering how our ex-housmate, kim’s money were blatantly swallowed by her.

Then what happened to me? I am going home! At first I considered staying with my auntie who lives in the west side of Singapore for a couple of weeks. However, I do not feel nice to trouble her so much, so I was thinking maybe just a few days would be okay. Unfortunately, since I am such an indecisive person in this kind of matter, I decided today that I will just go home on Friday, the official day to leave the place that I am currently residing – in short HELL.

Therefore, I have managed to end most of my tuition stuff and I am going to be a little irresponsible this time round. I actually feel bad for neglecting my students half-way through and I want to see them progress, but that is a luxury to me now. I do not forsee things to have such a dramatic turn, so I hope my students and their parents can understand my circumstances.

Anyway, I need to sleep now (It’s already 1.49 AM) because I need to head down to some place tomorrow – or rather later – to consult on my applications to overseas universities.

So, mood of the day says, “I’m MOVING OUT!”

Theft: an analysis

Some of you did know that an unfortonate event took place in my already-chaotic life less than 48 hours ago: theft.

I lost quite a number of things: including an iPod, a Canon digital ixus camera, a fossil watch, an iPod charger (like WTF!), two brand-new earphones, cash and EZ-link card (WTF! again). My sister lost her iPod nano and some cash as well. I was particularly fortunate that my phone and my iPod Touch are in my room. Well, just some self-consolation for myself.

I was quite confused when I found out about it myself, but what can I do about it? CRY? hell no man! There’s this one thing that I can do, and those people who knows me well should know: (fill in the blank yourself, tell me what you think it is in the comment section).

Anyway, I have decided to post ,my own analysis, considering that the police force was quite non-chalant about the case, maybe it was just some kid’s belongings that do not worth a lot, but it just shows how “efficient” (read inefficient) their work is. Question to them: Is there any effort on our part to follow up on the investigation? (I have to admit, that was just a rethorical question).

Let me start on my analysis – before I continue rambling about the police. I will present some clues along, so that you can be the judge as well.

Theft: an Analysis:

The clues:

1. The doors are completely closed.

2. The windows were closed (according to my sister, “the window” that everybody (everyone else who lives in the house except my sister and I) suspected as the site of entry of the thief or burglar was closed from inside. It was impossible for the thief to close “the window” from outside).

3. There was a chair outside “the window” (this one, to me, was the most bizarre one, because a few hours after the event happened, a h called and came to identify that it was her chair because she has got a missing chair).

4. My sister’s files and folders were neatly placed below “the window.”

5. Only my sister’s and my belongings were gone.

6. Only our areas were ransacked The rest of the room were completely “untouched.”

7. My expensive VAIO laptop was not stolen even though it was placed there, inviting the F-er to take it and run away.

8. My key was not stolen. If it was external people, why did he not just take the key and run away from the front door?

9. The person was physically in the room, because he need to bend down and plug out my iPod charger.

10. The person knows the place well.

The Analysis:

It was hard to come to a justifiable suspicion against somebody most of the time, but I do think that my intuition is correct, coupled with my keen observation of people’s reactions and way of talking after the incident. The night before, I slept earlier than usual, at about 9 pm. That was way earlier than usual because I usually slept at about 6am. The reason? because the internet connection was suddenly off. So, the first thing that came to my mind was: my sister hasn’t paid the bill, so the service provider cut off the connection. However, what am I doing now? blogging? Yes, and I need to use internet to do that. One hour after the police was gone, the internet connection was abnormally restored back. For this one, I agree that I don’t think it’s possible for outsider to do so. Just today, I discovered that the power control box was slightly opened. I am not sure it’s possible for somebody to actually cut off the connection, but I am just stating what I feel.

If it’s possible to do so, that means the person must be from inside the house and had observed my habit of staying up late watching videos. That means “no internet” = “my absence in the living room.” So I slept, my sister came back and studied outside because of not wanting to disturb me. So she became the victim of the theft also because she put her school bag outside.

So I wanted to listen to songs in the morning using my iPod Touch but could not find the earphones. Hence, this led my discovery of the event because I could not find any of my earphones. I rushed to tell my sister and later we discovered more missing items. I went to OPEN the main door and tell the landlady. Then I called the police, before the police came, “suspect” told my landlady, “the main door always never closed.” This makes him suspicious.

The door was unlocked when I was right there in the living room, watching videos. The door was locked not by me, but by the maid who already left a week ago. The door wasn’t my responsibility. Even if it is, I was there, guarding it like a faithful dog. So this man left, with a waist pouch. This made me feel even more i against him. I know he usually works early in the morning but such an event had just taken place, why the rush?

So I told this particular analysis to the auntie, the landlady, hoping that she could try to erase my suspicion by trying to do something about it. Yes, I was so “elated” (read frustrated and fuming) that she did something: informing her brother, “the suspect,” that I was making such guess. “The suspect’s” wife stormed to me and repeatedly yelling at me, “HOW CAN YOU ACCUSE MY HUSBAND?! HOW CAN YOU ACCUSE MY HUSBAND?!” which was followed by more yelling. What do you think I did? Yes, if you know me well, I will not just stand there quietly and get yelled by this mad woman. So, I yelled back, LOUDER for your information, I asked her to freaking listen to the landlady what I told her earlier on. Then “the suspect” came, and what did he say?

“THE DOOR ALWAYS NEVER CLOSED!”

Doesn’t that sound funny? Why was he not yelling at me like his wife? Why did he not try to defend himself and scold me because I was suspecting him? The even more funny thing was that, the landlady’s other brother and nephew commented that it seems like the theft was done internally. The landlady was defending and said she was 100% sure that her brother did not do it. Yes, nobody said he HAS done it, it was just a suspicion. What was I thinking at that moment? “These uncivilised and uneducated people surely do not know the difference between ‘suspecting’ and ‘accusing.’ It seems that “the suspect” has got some criminal record to have the rest of the member acting suspiciously, defending him so strongly.”

I mean, If you clearly did not do it, why should you be so afraid of being suspected? Furthermore, telling me repeatedly that I “have no right” to suspect anybody, like WTF!

In additon, I remembered “the suspect” came down in the middle of the night, about 3 -4 am, from his room in second floor. He went to the kitchen very quickly and came out again. This made me really suspicious of him.

My laptop, seriously bizarre, was untouched! That was like the most expensive thing in the room, and why did the person searched carefully on the small things? Why did he only take the cash and ez-link card but not the whole wallet? My “guess” (look carefully, you damned uncivilised and uneducated people!) was that there is difficulty posed by the sheer size of the laptop. And why should you worry about hiding the laptop when you are an external thief? That just leads me closer to my conclusion, it’s the internal people. It’s “the suspect.”

Some more, they repetitively insisted that the chair outside the window proved that it was the external thief. They even (ridiculously) said they were sure it was not anybody from the house. I was like, please open your eyes people, the size of the biggest gap on window was about 30cm x30cm in dimension. You need to be extremely small in size to be able to pass through that – the landlady and her mother kept on insisting that her former petite body-sized maid could actually do it. My thought was, “why should you believe strongly that it was from outside?” For all you know, the chair could be there just to mislead the very efficient and intelligent authority (read “down-right retarded and inefficient). What about my sister’s files below the window? The external thief would make a racket and woke everybody up because he could not possibly know that there was anything there. Even if he was careful enough, it was impossible to go out from the same site without making any mess.

So that was what my analysis and intuition telling me now. I cannot help but to look at everybody in the house with a different look.

So, mood of the day says, “WTF!”