Taiwan Trip (Prior)

Actually It has been long since I gave up on the idea of blogging about the Taiwan trip that I had a couple of weeks ago. To pause and think twice again, it is better if continue with my post since you don’t get to go overseas every now and then, right? Hehe (The draft of this post will probably turn mouldy if I continue ignoring it ).

There are many things that happened even before the trip itself. There two significant events which are worth-mentioning: I quarelled with my Dad and my Granny passed away.

Well, I quarelled with my father “over seemingly trivial issue,” that would be what others think or say. I don’t think so, my Dad was just being too selfish and cared about his image a lot more than he should. I disliked that, still hate it and will always loathe it.

But that doesn’t make me angry. Well if it doesn’t concern me. But this time round he has crossed the line. Somehow, I have become his tool for his image and I forsee a great deal of abominable repercussions that are to come, not towards him but towards myself. I know, up to this point, you wouldn’t know what I am talking about. Just to tell you, you will never understand. Because I decide not to elaborate further on the matter. Period.

A few weeks ago I posted an entry that is dedicated for my Granny. The Taiwan trip itself almost turned into bubbles of hopes and remembrance because the wishy-washy-busybody-like elders (all those irritating-and-think-they-know-it-all aunties and uncles) tried to stop us from going because it is disrespectful towards Granny who had just passed away. They said, “you guys are not supposed to enjoy yourselves…” However, they can’t help but to admit that our presence were actually not necessary since we are just the outer grandchildren (meaning those grandchildren that their daughters gave birth of, daughters are no longer part of the family since they have married and it is their obligations to stick to their husbands’ families). To put it simply, we were just guests that has no importance according to the tradition that they upholds, which to me sounds and is ridiculous.

Anyway, my mum and my auntie (my cousin’s mum), let the three of us (My cousin, my sister and I) go to Taiwan eventually.

-to be continued-

Grandma

It was not easy to let go

Nor was it possible not to let go

I know it is time for you to depart

And I know that you will always be a part

Of our lives.

Thank you Grandma. Good bye Granny.

Your grandson, Suf.

My grandmother just passed away on the 10th of February 2009. I was there when she closed her eyes. It was painful to see her struggling for so long. It was painful to see my mum crying everyday because she knew that her mum would not stay for long on this planet.

I felt like a jerk because I could not attend her funeral, I could not attend Grandpa’s as well. It was a regret, yes of course it was. I can only comfort myself by telling myself what I told Liyi, “It was just a ritual, what’s more important than having the heart and intention?”

Love you Ah-Mah.